I know its been a few days since I last posted. I’ve been wallowing in my own self pity again. It peaked yesterday so am slowly coming back up, hopefully. It left me wondering about a few things, fear of leaving the flat. I’ve had this get worse as time goes by and I thought I would of mastered it by now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Today, I managed to get outdoors. A trek to the shop to pay some utility bills and grab some yoghurt. Exciting stuff undoubtedly. But I managed to get out. It took a lot of “Don’t think about it” and “Just go, don’t look back”. The odd thing about all this is if I’m with a person, I can do it so long as someone is next to me. I’ll experiment this coming week to see if its anyone or if it has to be a specific person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The diet has gone well, I’ve lost another 5kg. I’m aware that doesn’t sound much but any movement with my weight is a good thing. I’ve mostly been having diet shakes, soup and bread and then some hard boiled eggs for when the times are hard. It’s not a bad diet. It is difficult and I do have to keep on reminding myself that pain is temporary and soon the craving will go. Hopefully, the next week will be much of the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now, after all that exciting news I’ve spent the day listening to music at obnoxious volumes to compete with the stomping I hear from the elephant that lives upstairs. Not that they are as fat as a elephant, its more just the noise. Can’t complain too much as the bedroom here is amazing, I do have my windows open day and night so its always cool to sleep in but I fall asleep often to podcasts and I’m always worried people can hear it, even though I have it on low.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’m missing family at the moment. It would be nice to see the kids but I’m not allowed till September. This was due to an incident wherein B was staying with me, I was curled up in agony and trapped in those fun delusions. I think I already blogged about it. Its also the tenth anniversary of mum dying. She passed away from cancer, this day, 4.30am in 2014. I still miss her. I miss Dad as well, he died 14th August 2018. I also got divorced last year on 14th August just a day before my birthday. Its not a great month. But, its almost over. I’ll light a candle tonight for mum and look through some photos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And food delivery will be here shortly so that is all from me!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh, that and I’m happy with todays progress getting out of the house. Next stop, hair cut! Its last been cut back in December and I can make a pony tail. I just look like comic book guy. Wait. I have an arsenal of comics. I have therefore I am. Anyway. Positive vibes!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I know its been a few days since I last posted. I’ve been wallowing in my own self pity again. It peaked yesterday so am slowly coming back up, hopefully. It left me wondering about a few things, fear of leaving the flat. I’ve had this get worse as time goes by and I thought […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[1033,1120,1437,1892],"class_list":["post-3384","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-affairs","tag-life","tag-mental-health","tag-random","tag-weekend"],"yoast_head":"\n