So today marks day three of my descent into madness. I don’t know whether it’s a naturally occurring cycle of ups and downs repeating themselves in a timeless fashion. I’ve started interacting with my hallucinations and the audio ones. My vision is blurred but I can still just about make them out. They change on a whim from person to person. I laugh manically when they jeer me. I feel like I haven’t slept properly for three days although my smart watch states the opposite. It’s all just a little frightening.

Then it stops for an hour. My vision returns to normal and I can focus on something, I can get a lot done in that hour. So it’s not all the time. I’ve been searching for clues about why and how this is happening but have no joy. Did I miss a medication? I checked them all, and all were present and accounted for. Did I take extra? Am I taking random drugs? No. I’m positive that I haven’t. D keeps asking if I have as I’m guessing I present that way but for the first time in my life I can say with all certainty that I haven’t abused or taken any medications that I’m not supposed to.

We are trying an experiment today. Take 10mg of Valium and see if that settles it. I;;m a bit blurry and my cognitive capacity is diminishing but it’s better, at least I feel it is. The old man sitting behind me says it’s not. But then there is nothing new there from his poison-tipped tongue.