I’m having some major anxiety issues at the moment. I’m sure my leg shaking can be heard from miles around. It’s on hyperdrive mode at the moment, when it’s not shaking my soul is trying to escape through from my stomach. Soul. Stomach. The demon might be better tbh. I just need to try and take my mind off it for a few minutes to calm it down, I’ve got music on but not loud as the kids are home. Usually, my go-to is my headphones but if I put them on I’m scared the kids will stand behind me and when I turn around they’ll scream or do some scary shit and I’ll freak out. So headphones are a no-go at the moment.

I think the dogs know something is up. Well. Nina does anyway, she keeps coming over and nudging me. Usually, she just sits in the corner staring. Dobby has found himself a sock and is currently chewing it. I tried to play fetch but she wasn’t having non of it and sat down for a good long chew. What do you do if a dog swallows a sock? it’s a big sock. I’m overthinking it.

D came back at 3am from her holiday with S in Greece. Staring at them is so painful it burns my skin. The word lobster comes to mind. Just pure sunburn everywhere! I gave S some cream this morning that D left out for her. She’s not going to school today as it would be torture with her sunburn putting on the uniform. Hopefully, she’ll be fine to go tomorrow. B is still at home as his school has an extra week off. So I’ve been watching him play different games and amused him since I’ve come back, well, since D left for Greece BUT OMG best present ever, 3 counterfeit packets of Pokemon cards to go in my weird and bizarre collection of cards. Just been through them now. They are quite good to play with but they are so golden that it makes it hard to read the writing on the cards. Awesome present.

Today is the 8th anniversary of me and D getting married. Aww. It has actually flown past but it’s a nice reminder to see how long we’ve been together. I do love her and hope we have many more in the future! We agreed to celebrate it later in the month as she’s shattered (amongst other things) and won’t be home till late.

I feel a bit better. Well no. no I don’t. But I did for a few minutes while I was typing it up. Thank you for listening.