I managed to have ten minutes in the sun this weekend before being told to go in by B because I was heavy breathing again. It’s sad to see him get so angry with the flight or fight response. He’s controlling it a bit better these days, he doesn’t scream and jump up and down as much. The problem is I get stressed. Still working hard on figuring out how to control that atm. It’s better, like I said before D has done a lot of removing stress from the house. I still try and pitch in but D says I’m overdoing it. I wish there was something I could do that would make taking pills less of a reliance.

I’m currently working on an active theory wherein I microdose valium at 3 intervals (if needed) in a day. So I try and work out the stress but if that fails I take a dose. Small dose. 2mg. The only problem is tolerance. I have enough in the pharmacy cupboard to last a long time if I need to increase it. That aside, it seems to be working. So. Will do that, coupled with the crisis hotline, and see how we go.

In the meantime, I’ll get back in the swing of regular posting again. I think every other day should keep me on track to keep the blog going.