Things have been a bit better. I did have a fall in the garden and am licking my wounds but still trying to carry on with a smile on my face. R came round for monthly Dad time, we talked, I got fathers Day presents and it was nice. She is growing up to be pretty awesome. Every time I moved she was there to do it for me as I fumbled with the walking sticks.
I also had the best noodle soup ever from D which was terrific. I don’t know, maybe she has a bag of msg somewhere and tips it in. But who cares, it is noteworthy. She’s been pretty fantastic with the way she helps me. I try and do small jobs in small bursts. The only one I have yet to master is the dishes. I don’t know why but the pain in my back is the same as my trigger pain so I have to take a break, pretty frustrating. I learned the hard way yesterday about pushing myself, I ended up face-planting a brick wall as I couldn’t control my balance with the stick. My face got scratched but my glasses and arm took the brunt of it.
Today is also an off day for me. I’m not supposed to do any work except housework. However, D’s mother-in-law is with us again to keep an eye on me. This is nice but makes me worried that people think they need to look after me 24/7 when I’m genuinely okay pottering about. I know my limits now. Guess I need to prove them.
Mental health wise I’ve been a bit of a mess. Trying to figure out stuff and it’s hard because my head hurts from thinking all the time. I’m blacking out again, it’s happened 3 times today so far. Fortunately, D’s mum didn’t notice. I’ll disappear into the abyss not realizing what I’m doing isn’t real. Picking up or writing and then stopping. Then it’s like what the hell was I doing. I had to sign something but everything is back to normal. Well. As normal as normal can be.
Oh, I forgot to mention D called an ambulance three days ago, memory is sketchy at best. All I remember is being unable to get up, then being on a stretcher, then a bed and it suddenly being 4am when I last remembered 9pm, I remember the doctor saying it was an FND flare up and I was discharged.
The mind boggles.