I’ve been meaning to do a post all day but keep finding ways to avoid it. Why? I have no idea. The short stories are nearing an end. Thank god. I’ve pre-written and scheduled the last of them and my god they were hard, the last ones, you’ll see.

It’s raining. Which I love. The dogs are less so because one of them, Dobby, doesn’t like rain. He won’t go outside, he’ll run off if you open the garden door and hide somewhere. Hopefully, it will stop soon and I can try and walk them. I managed a walk with D the other day where I had Dobby because she’s small and using only one stick. Managed to do it so was very proud of myself. So will try them one at a time, with a stick and my phone in case I fall over. Let’s see how we get on.

I called the crisis line again but had to leave a message. Must be a weekend with no doctors available so everyone calls them. Just waiting for the call back now and I can chat my lovely depressed head off to them and see what jovial advice they will have for me.

Now. Something to do till the rain stops. I’m aware you can walk the dogs in the rain but I’d rather not be pulled and slip on the grass with the stick so am being sensible. If it doesn’t stop then D will have to retake them.

My left side is feeling numb all of a sudden. I get anxiety attacks over the random symptoms. If I have a mental health problem I have a toolbox of things that will sort it out before it gets to dangerous levels. Like the crisis line, counting things, taking PRN meds, and music. But with the FND I have nothing as of yet that I can use apart from “Sit down” and have missing time again thus pushing the no-driving button which I sorely need to do. So what do I do? Ignore it? cope with the symptoms till they stop? then it’s just a matter of getting used to it. How do you get used to fucking stroke symptoms? Argh.

Started talking to dickhead (brother) and held a decent conversation for once. We both agreed it would be nice for him to spend some time with Ben as he is his uncle and then I can spend some time with the brother as well. We don’t have any more family. Not in the sense of, oh I can call such and such. Mum and Dad, Gran x2, Grand Dad x2, various uncles and aunts. So it’s just me, him, and our half-sister from my dad’s side. We don’t talk much. We do the birthday niceties. I’ll drop her a message today as it’s been a while. She lives up in Scotland. It might be nice to go and see her for coffee or lunch. Should have that as a goal.

The left side has corrected itself and is left with tremors making it hard to type. Or re-type. Thank god for Grammarly.