The most simple things in life often bring me the greatest level of peace. Sitting in the garden watching the birds attack the bird feeders. Typing on a new keyboard. I only say that last one because I’ve had to buy a no-noise one as my previous mechanical one was driving B crazy. He can have one but god forbid anyone else does. So that’ll sit in a box till I move out and then I can use it again. Till then? this lovely no-noise one will have to suffice.

Back to the question. I don’t think I can put it into words. I have only felt true peace a couple of times in my life. You know. Total and utter peace, like standing a the edge of a diving board and jumping. That feeling in your stomach when you just let go. Everything around you melts away and its just you, no one else, nothing. Just you and peace. True peace.

The first time I ever encountered it was when I was driving between Manchester and North Wales when my parents were both alive. Just me in the car. The perfect song was playing, it was sunset, the sky a hue of different oranges, and me. I can remember the exact location on the motorway when it happened. It was like all this noise and hectic thoughts built up and up and then crescendo and boom. Total. Utter. Peace. I let go of everything at that moment. I was just existing. Still in control of the car but that was an afterthought.

I’ve never managed to replicate that feeling in over 10 years. It really was that unique. I’ve come close to back in my former drug days. Creating pure adrenaline and the come down from that. It wasn’t even that close.

That was an awesome feeling. Not the drugs one but the driving one. Like the moon, planets and stars aligned all at once for that perfect moment.