I’m getting bored of this now.

It wasn’t even late when it happened. I was talking to R who shouldn’t have been up late and then all of a sudden it was 3 a.m. I’ve checked the history again; nothing. I then checked the logs on the machine, it showed nothing. My glasses were on the floor under the desk, so they somehow fell off. I didn’t get any more cuts on my forehead. It was as if I turned off, my head went down, my glasses came off, and then magically it was 3 a.m. I’m not exhausted, hell I wasn’t even tired. It just happened.

I know I need to see the doctor which I will but it’s a bank holiday here today so everything is shut. So I’ll have to wait till 7:30 a.m. tomorrow to fill in a form and see if I’m lucky enough for a callback. It’s going to just be the same thing, learn to live with it but I don’t. Like a petulant child throwing his toy across the room. I don’t want to live like this. Am I just supposed to accept that I am missing time?
I did feel a bit weird before it happened. I think I’m starting to pick up when it’ll happen. If I can do that then maybe I can distract myself from it happening.

I know it’s hard to believe. Seizures come in all shapes and sizes. It could be a lot worse,e I could be conscious when I can’t move or do anything. I think if it ever progressed to that a ligature of rope and sturdy light fitting it would be. I wouldn’t even need the light fitting. I’ve just used the rope. Or tie wraps. That way I couldn’t back out.

That got morbid fast.

I got a text that I’ve had my stay at the motel extended to the 6th of September which is a relief. I was really worried they would kick me out and I’d have to move back. I wouldn’t have a problem with that but D most likely would. I think she just wants to move on but can’t because all my crap is there. Although she could box it all up and move it to her storage unit and bill me for it.

My muscles are so rigid. Like they’ve been tensed for hours and they just fucking ache like hell. I keep strutting around the room to try and ease them off but feels like I have swollen feet.
My god I moan. If a dog moaned this much you’d put the bastard down lol.

Happier things.

The girl’s weekend down to Brighton went okay. D took S to see her over the phone friend and it was a big success. They had a sleep and S was very excited the next day. Hopefully, they’ll keep in touch and maybe her friend can come up here. I think S would love that. It’s great when she’s happy. Being a teenager can’t be much fun but when they are happy I think it’s amazing. I think D secretly had a good time staying in an Airbnb and walking along the seafront. Shame about the 6 hour drive they had to do but far better than getting the train while everyone is on strike.

Almost forgot, I had breakfast with an old friend yesterday which was nice. We went to a not-so-sticky floor restaurant/bar and had a full English breakfast with extra back pudding for me. It was amazing. Great company and great food. After dropping them off along the way I started to feel funny so was in a mad rush to get back to the safety of the motel. But that aside it was great to get out and talk to people again.

I’m thinking of taking R to the Trafford Centre to play mini golf or bowling this week. Will need to ask her mum and see what she says. It makes sense to me as lot of shops to go in and lots of benches if I need a break to sit down. Gtot a little bit of money stashed away so can use that for lunch. Then her mum can hopefully collect her.

I’ve rambled enough. Another cup of tea and I’ll lay down in bed and see what happens.

Oh a random photo. Almost forgot.