Its now common that I go to dotis house at least three days in a week. Whether thats for baby sitting duties, or fixingan alexa thats gone postal. I was there yesterday kids came home, hung out with the kids for as long as they could manage.

F was due to come back for 7pm so I was just pottering about, doing some work. Things like that. Then I though oh I’m starving as I didnt make any toasties for me. I thought, well when doti comes home I’ll get us a takeaway as a treat and we can talk and catch up.

She called saying “I’ll be back soon so you can go”, “Oh how come? I dont mind waiting for you”, “Well I do so go”. That hurt. A lot. Gave the kids hugs, ordred the Uber and off I went. Dreams of sharing some food toether and chatting. But no I am just a baby sitter for her.

Still depressed about the whole thing plus I won’t be getting my dream flat for another 7 weeks; it really messed up my head. I was on the computer, watching random stuff to take my mind off things. Then the clock went from 1 to 4 am in a split second, and my back was burning like hell in agony. I checked certain things, and yes, I had a seizure. I love my life.