Seizures. I had a seizure again. I lost two hours this time, so it was shorter than a full-blown one but longer than a small one. I’m starting to lose hope, a little bit every time one comes. It isn’t about banging or not banging my head off something; it’s the sheer randomness of the seizure that makes it debilitating. I worry about it, and that just makes it worse. Then it’s the resetting of the clock on when I can drive again. I need to go at least three months; I’ve gone two weeks for major ones. The five-second ones come and go.
Seizures that can’t be treated or prevented, really. Due to my EUPD, I generally handle emotions terribly as a rule, but due to the medication, I never really know how I’m feeling, so it kind of jumps on me and causes the brain implosions. I don’t like the seizure. Let’s call it FND attacks; it’s more accurate than seizures. I feel like one is coming on now. If I were to close my eyes, I would probably hit the deck.
And then..
In other amazing news, my carpal tunnel has come back in both hands, but the worst one is my left hand, oddly enough. The pinky is constantly numb, and the right hand is just a little bit better. Still numb, which makes typing all sorts of joy. I had surgery on both hands a few years ago, which was a success. They did the right hand first, so plus point, if you ever need to learn to use your left hand, get the right one done (opposite if you’re a lefty), and then you have to learn how to wipe your bum. It’s a life skill.
Sigh
Giving up soon.
Living in the motel isn’t doing me any favors anyway. But that’s just the way it has to be until the flat is sorted.
I maintain the giving up.
