Risk is drugs for me. I haven’t hidden or spared any details on my blog about my battles with addiction or the general fact that I take 27 tablets a day. What would I love to do? Come off every single one and see how things are. The vast majority of the meds I take are antipsychotics, Valium, and other sedating medication. There was a time when I wasn’t medicated, and d put the idea in my head about reducing them when things are more stable. It would be interesting because either something really good will happen or something will go horribly, horribly wrong.
But the risk. The risk is unthinkable with blackout rage, and this whole antisocial narcissistic side of me that I’m petrified will take hold and that the drugs, prescribed, are holding the gates closed and allowing me to float around my days. I think if I started small and dropped one of the antipsychotics from 4 times a day to 2 and try that. It’ll take ages to do it but… god, I don’t know, is it worth the possible relapse? And what if I come off everything and I just can’t handle life again? Then again, what if it actually works?
If you were skimming through that, the main takeaway is the risk of not taking my meds. If you got this far, I’ll show you what my brain understood that to mean:
Heroin. I’d like to start injecting again, but this time with some class A. Risk? Didn’t see that part of the question.
Ladies and gentlemen, my brain.
One response to “Drugs. Risk. Drugs. Dammit. QOTD”
Wow, my husband asked for a copy of my brain scan ( thought I better clarify just in case people thought it was another organ….) but wasn’t given it. Maybe joking that he wanted it as a screensaver was a bad idea.