Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) are both mental health conditions that have significantly impacted my life. BPD is characterized by intense and unstable emotions, impulsive behavior, and a distorted sense of self, while PTSD is a condition that can develop after experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event. In this post, I will share my personal experiences with BPD and PTSD, and how they affect my daily life.

Living with BPD and PTSD can be challenging. I experience intense mood swings, from feeling happy and energized one moment to feeling overwhelmed and depressed the next. I struggle with impulsivity and often engage in risky behaviors, such as substance abuse, self-harm, and impulsive spending. The intrusive thoughts and flashbacks that come with PTSD can be terrifying and cause me to feel disconnected from the present moment.

One of the most challenging aspects of my mental health conditions is the hallucinations. I sometimes see or hear things that aren’t really there, and it can be difficult to distinguish reality from my imagination. I also experience night terrors, which are like nightmares but feel more vivid and realistic. They can be triggered by memories of traumatic events, and they often leave me feeling exhausted and on edge.

Another symptom I experience is dementia-like forgetfulness. It’s like my memory has been wiped clean, and I struggle to remember basic information like my address or phone number. This can be frustrating and embarrassing, especially when I’m in public or trying to have a conversation with someone.

To cope with these challenges, I take medication prescribed by my psychiatrist. The medication has helped me manage my symptoms and lead a more fulfilling life. I also practice mindfulness and self-care techniques, such as yoga, meditation, and spending time in nature. These practices have helped me stay grounded and centered, even during the most difficult times.

It hasn’t been easy, but I’m proud of how far I’ve come. I’m turning 40 this year, which seems surreal to me, given how much I’ve been through, and what my body has been through. I’m grateful to have made it this far, and I’m determined to continue on the path to recovery.

Living with BPD and PTSD has taught me a lot about myself and the world around me. I’ve learned that mental illness is not a weakness, but a part of the human experience. I’ve also learned that recovery is possible, and that there is hope for a brighter future. If you’re struggling with BPD, PTSD, or any other mental health condition, know that you’re not alone. Reach out for help, talk to a trusted friend, and take care of yourself. You’re stronger than you think, and you deserve to live a happy and fulfilling life.