-
Scribblings
So for my sins, I have been charged with 2 tooth extractions, a filling, and some kind of other white fillings for the receding gums. I haven’t had any treatment for quite a few years so I see this as not such a bad thing. The extractions could be turned into fillings but as they…
-
Imploded brains
I was going to do a QOTD but need to do some typing therapy. So, there was a saga with my meds not turning up on time, only a couple that I needed were missing from the several I take. I started a new increase in meds on Monday which ruined the first part of…
-
QOTD
Am I doing what I love for a living? Yes. Right now at this time in my life, I like to do community and charity work. I’m currently working with a charity to provide tech to those who are digitally excluded. These people or clients, they have no means of getting online and therefore miss…
-
Procrastination is the devil
So I started this blog post two days ago when I couldn’t focus on doing some work that needed doing. I’ll keep the title because it’s a true statement and something which happens to me often. It’s not a lazy thing (that’s what they all say) but more a, I work better in the evening…
-
The importance of sleep
Sleep. A fundamental part of all of us, great and small. Can’t live without it but these days I can’t live with it. I think it all started a few days ago. Might of been a week. Horredous nightmares reliving past trauma resulting in really poor sleep, waking up in a sweat or moving alot…
-
QOTD
What recharges me the most? Okay so I just spent the past ten minutes trying to find an image of the place that recharges me the most. Long story short, when I lived in the mountains we had some land, on that land was a hill. There is specific spot I used to walk up…
-
Comfortable goings on
I’m staring at a white screen again. I keep going from screen to coffee to spotify and then back to screen again. I can’t focus on one thing for too long it seems. More than likely due to being triggered last night. I had bad dreams again. I think I caused it myself from writing…
-
Mysterious Goings On
I had a panic attack on Friday which wasn’t great, but they never are. I heard people moving outside of the house. The curtains were drawn. Lights were off and I was sat on the sofa “depression balling” with the dog. The dog helped. I started thinking “What if they get it?” and a million…
-
Encore
You know, maybe, there is something more to this that I’m not understanding. Life that is. I might be tired and content with the idea of my passing but maybe I’m just being wreckless. I recently started going back to the gym. That was hell on earth the first time. I swear everyone was staring…
-
Thats all she wrote.
So. I think I’ve come to the point where I have concluded that I’m done. Done with life and existing. I’m just tired, so so tired of being ill, being a bother and a hassle to everyone. I dont have a date in mind. I just feel ready. Ready for when that moment comes and…