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QOTD
Am I doing what I love for a living? Yes. Right now at this time in my life, I like to do community and charity work. I’m currently working with a charity to provide tech to those who are digitally excluded. These people or clients, they have no means of getting online and therefore miss…
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Procrastination is the devil
So I started this blog post two days ago when I couldn’t focus on doing some work that needed doing. I’ll keep the title because it’s a true statement and something which happens to me often. It’s not a lazy thing (that’s what they all say) but more a, I work better in the evening…
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The importance of sleep
Sleep. A fundamental part of all of us, great and small. Can’t live without it but these days I can’t live with it. I think it all started a few days ago. Might of been a week. Horredous nightmares reliving past trauma resulting in really poor sleep, waking up in a sweat or moving alot…
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QOTD
What recharges me the most? Okay so I just spent the past ten minutes trying to find an image of the place that recharges me the most. Long story short, when I lived in the mountains we had some land, on that land was a hill. There is specific spot I used to walk up…
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QOTD
When do I feel most at ease? I would have to say that I’m most at ease when listening to music. Usually best with my headphones on as I can crank it right up and drown out everything. It can be any type of music; my taste is very broad. I think its all to…
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Comfortable goings on
I’m staring at a white screen again. I keep going from screen to coffee to spotify and then back to screen again. I can’t focus on one thing for too long it seems. More than likely due to being triggered last night. I had bad dreams again. I think I caused it myself from writing…
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Mysterious Goings On
I had a panic attack on Friday which wasn’t great, but they never are. I heard people moving outside of the house. The curtains were drawn. Lights were off and I was sat on the sofa “depression balling” with the dog. The dog helped. I started thinking “What if they get it?” and a million…
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Encore
You know, maybe, there is something more to this that I’m not understanding. Life that is. I might be tired and content with the idea of my passing but maybe I’m just being wreckless. I recently started going back to the gym. That was hell on earth the first time. I swear everyone was staring…
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Thats all she wrote.
So. I think I’ve come to the point where I have concluded that I’m done. Done with life and existing. I’m just tired, so so tired of being ill, being a bother and a hassle to everyone. I dont have a date in mind. I just feel ready. Ready for when that moment comes and…
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A year goes bye [sic]
So some how a year has lapsed since I was last on here. I do have positive things for a change. Something haven’t really changed. Others got worse but then thats par for the course. I quit alcohol on 1st Janurary 2022 and stuck to it, not a drop since then. Its been really hard…